There has been something on my mind for a while now that I have to share my thoughts on. While social media has provided a lot of positives to the wedding industry, it has also yielded some not-so-great effects, one of those being the need to “perform” during a wedding day. 

With the constant access to so much wedding content, many couples feel the need to make their wedding day look a certain way. The pressure to make their weddings look “perfect” like those they have saved for inspiration. Perfect reactions. Perfect poses. Perfect timing. It can subtly create pressure to respond, move, or even emote in a way that feels heightened or camera-aware. But the truth is, the most enduring photos rarely come from performance. They come from authenticity. When you’re thinking about how something looks, you step slightly outside of the moment. When you’re fully in it, you forget the camera is even there.

I promise that all of the stunning photos that you’re seeing on Instagram or saving on Pinterest are moments that aren’t replicated from someone else’s wedding that they saw and saved. Sharing inspiration photos during the planning phase can be helpful in getting a better idea of your vision, but they ultimately shouldn’t be a mold you’re trying to fit into or be attempted to be replicated. All these dreamy wedding images you see online are beautiful because they’re honest and true to that specific couple & their wedding day. So while your photos might not look the exact same as theirs, they’ll beautifully define your day. 

Your wedding day is not a production. It’s not a performance. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime gathering of the people you love most. And when you allow yourself to be present instead of “on,” the photographs naturally become more powerful. Without further ado, let’s get into some ways to avoid this so that you’re able to be fully present and in the moment on this very special, fleeting day.

Find a Vendor Team You Trust

One of the biggest factors in being present is trust. When you trust your photographer and your vendor team, you don’t feel the need to manage the day yourself. You don’t have to check if someone “got the shot.” Ultimately that trust creates space for real reactions, natural movement, and honest emotion. And from a photography perspective, I do some of my best work when my couples put their trust in me to capture their wedding day or event. 

There’s also something to be said about feeling comfortable with the vendors and creative teams that you’re spending a lot of your time with on your wedding day. Find vendors that you click with and that can be yourself around. Compatibility with vendors plays a huge role in every aspect of your wedding day, including being authentic while there is a camera around.  

Movement Over Posing

Instead of rigid posing or overly directed moments, being present allows for natural movement. Walking hand-in-hand after the ceremony. A spontaneous hug with your grandmother. The way your partner looks at you when you’re not expecting it. Those small, unscripted interactions tell the story of the day more deeply than any perfectly arranged pose ever could.

Energy is Contageous 

Presence doesn’t just affect you, it affects everyone around you. When a couple feels relaxed and grounded, the entire room follows. Guests loosen up. Laughter is louder. The dance floor naturally fills. Photos reflect energy. When the energy is authentic and joyful, your wedding imagery will come to life. 

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In Conclusion 

You don’t need to manufacture moments or exaggerate reactions. You definitely don’t need to worry about whether everything looks “perfect” because beauty also lies within the imperfect moments.

If you focus on soaking in the ceremony, holding hands a little longer, really listening to the toasts, and spending time with your people, the photos will take care of themselves. When you allow yourself to fully experience your day instead of curating it, the result is a gallery that feels honest, emotional and enduring.

If you’re planning your wedding, my biggest advice is simple: be in the moment, ignore the camera and the expectations. Enjoy the day from start to finish with the love of your life and those that came to celebrate with you. It will soon be only a memory and you’ll want to look back through photos that remind you of how the day truly felt and not how you thought you wanted it to look.